Charlie…Charlie….Charlie…. What the hell is wrong with you man?
For anyone out there living under a rock, Charlie Sheen spent Christmas in jail for allegedly pulling a knife on his wife, Brooke Mueller. Nice! Now we can add attempted murder to this guy’s litany of screw ups. His jerk-off lawyer said that “Appearance and reality can be as different as night and day. It would benefit everyone not to jump to any conclusion.”
 
I have to hand it to him though, this dude is scandal-proof man!
 
This isn’t the first time he has been at the center of a domestic violence case and the stories don’t seem to harm his reputation at all! His long history of whacky behavior began in 1990 when he was dating the “OMG” so beautiful actress Kelly Preston. Reports popped up back then that Preston had been shot in the arm. In 2001 Sheen was interviewed for Playboy magazine and said that that it was a “complete accident. I wasn’t even in the room. She picked up a pair of my pants. … A little revolver fell out of my back pocket, hit the bathroom floor and went off. It shot a hole through the toilet and she got hit in the leg with shrapnel.” Oh MAN, this guy is good! Luckily for him, the Easter Bunny was there to call 911 for her.
 
In 1994 Sheen was the only celebrity client whose name was publicly released during the trial of “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss. This guy was plucking down thousands of dollars on hookers which he was probably just using as human furniture to snort blow off of. This guy’s junk has seen the inside of more dirty holes than a groundhog.
 
In 1996 adult film actress Brittany Ashland accused Sheen of throwing her on the floor and splitting her lip. He of course pleaded no contest to battery charges and was fined $2,800. He entered rehab in 1998 after an alleged drug overdose.
 
During the course of his divorce from model-turned-actress Denise Richards in 2006, Richards filed a restraining order against Sheen, claiming he tried to kill her. Sheen released a statement at the time saying: “Obviously, what has taken place is vile, is unconscionable, is without merit, it is a transparent and immature smear campaign. She’s claiming certain things. It’s baseless.”
 
In May CBS renewed his series Two and a Half Men for three more seasons and in 2008 Sheen topped the list of the highest-paid actors on television, earning a reported $825,000 per episode.
 
That’s pretty impressive Charlie but based on your antics, were gonna have to revoke your Mancard for a while. The booze and the babes are one thing but when you introduce attempted murder  (allegedly) into the equation, we have to draw the line.
 
Oh, by the way, his wife Brooke Mueller is apparently taking him back so they can work things out. I guess when your making that kind of coin, attempted murder to your spouse is kind of like leaving the toilet seat up.